Pirate!AU - Keelhauled 1

"Oi, you!" I exclaimed, yelling as loudly as I could. "Get yer 'ands off that!" It was quite a bit of a stretch, leaning over the table, but I managed to pull the pitcher out of the man's hand, just in time – before he put his to his lips. "Not even yer father could buy all that ale!" The man was in too much of a drunken stupor, however, to even notice my insult. Shaking my head, I made my way towards the bar counter, to where I could see that Gilbert was trying his hardest to not burst out laughing.
"It ain't funny," I muttered to him, before rolling my eyes. "Just ye try to run an ale house by the harbour by yerself!"
"Aye, I don't doubt that," the smirk still wouldn't be wiped from his face.
"Bastard."
"And, see? That's why you're the one sitting here running an ale house, instead of being married off to some nice home."
"Aye? Why's that?" I leaned in to his words – some drunken brawl had just started, not that I was bothered – until some table was turned over, that is.
"You're not meant to be a woman-"
"Watch yer mouth, or I'll be making sure that ye don't live to have babi-"
"Das ist genau das, was ich meine."
"Keep yer foreign tongues to yerself! Ye're in England now, so talk like the Queen would want ya to!" As much as I appreciated the help of Arthur's acquaintance, and now a good friend of mine, I didn't need him to act smart around me, did I?
Gilbert had opened his mouth to say something, but a loud crash cut him off, making both of us look towards the door. A group of ragged, burly men burst in, and a small smile crept across my face. I knew them, all right. When the last one in the group entered, the smile grew into an elated laugh. I hollered towards the imposing blond in the (albeit ridiculous) hat, "Oi, Arthur, if you're here, then you could do me a favour, and 'elp clear out this brawl, eh?"
Without a word, Captain Arthur nodded his head towards the men who'd preceded him, and the men rushed towards the troublemakers, elated at the prospect of a brawl of their own. Amidst all the chaos, Arthur made his way towards me, taking off his hat, while a smile lightening up his features.
"Good to see ye'self well," he laughed, kissing my forehead.
"And like, and like," I returned his concern with affection. "Wasn't expecting you back so early."
"Aye, but it's good news – I've been...ah, promoted."
"Really?" I smiled towards him.
"Call me Privateer Kirkland, now."
"Ah, you be working for the Queen 'erself, now? 'Ave you seen her? What's she-"
"Calm down!" he chuckled. "Nay, I haven't seen her yet, but I had to come back, to get my papers and all. But enough about me - tell me about yourself."
"Me?" I shrugged. "The same old, why?"
"Feelin' like I haven't seen you in an eternity, sister."
"Ah, you're only concerned about me when ye got to come back home, I know. Wouldn't want to get hit by me, and the like."
Arthur's reply was cut off by a giggling Gilbert, making him turn his attention towards the latter. "And you, Cap'n – the reward on yer head's about to expire, so I expect you to be leaving soon."
"Ah, but I was beginning to like England, ah, of course, it's no good in comparison to home, bu-"
"Look Beilschmidt – you saved my life once, so I saved yer life by keeping ye hidden for a couple o' months – that's it."
"But I was just talking about gettin' a nice lad for this sister of yours, I could help with that." Gilbert laughed, however, I failed to see the humour in the situation.
"Ah, you be talking sense, Captain," Arthur nodded. "It's about time I found someone for you, Allison."
"Ye've got to be joking!" I scoffed. "I'm fine running the family ale house, while you be plundering them ships out there!"
"Aye, but this can't go on forever, can it?" Arthur replied.
"I don't see why not."
With a sigh, Arthur pulled a chair towards him, and sat down. "I'm too tired to talk about this now, Allison – give me some of the finest in here."
"Aye," I smiled, pouring out and handing him a mug of what I knew to be his favourite ale.

Gilbert was wrong – most men didn't make advances towards me because of my foul mouth.
No, it was because I was the younger sister of Captain Arthur Kirkland, navigator and privateer.